Saying Sorry

Over recent days in the UK we have been deeply affected by the death of a very young child known simply as "Baby P". Appalled by what we have seen and heard we have speculated (and some have pronounced) on who is to blame beyond those that battered this poor child. It seems that the system or those working the system failed. How could any child, having been seen sixty times by officials not have been taken into care?

We can only hope that the enquiry will explain the failure and that appropriate steps will be taken. Social workers have been quick to blame overwork and bureaucracy that prevents in depth meetings with clients. Senior officials have defended themselves with statements such as "doing everything by the book". Those within the system must feel threatened as public concern has been expressed so strongly.

Possibly fear of litigation or the political fallout may also contribute to the apparent clamour of "It wasn't my fault!"

But this current denial of responsibility is so typical of one of our societal problems today: the inability to say "sorry, it was my fault". Tragically, some of the hurting people I find myself counselling would be able to move on with their life if only there was a greater readiness on the part of the abusers to say sorry. The truth and justice experience in South Africa provides an encouraging model. Acceptance of responsibility enables the blessings of forgiveness that are otherwise denied even if offered.